My Top Ten: Zoolander 2 cameos

zoolander

Zoolander 2 has been out for a couple of weeks now but I have only just managed to see it. I generally agree with the reviews – it is not as good as the original one and at times it isn’t funny at all – but I think we can all agree the celebrity cameos were the most impressive thing about it (plus all the original cast returning).

There are so many celebrities playing themselves (or fictionalised versions) in this that you would be forgiven for missing some. Reading the credits, I definitely bypassed a few of the blink-and-you’ll miss it ones. But the best laugh out loud moments of the movie came from the celebrities doing crazy-awesome stuff so I’ll recap my favourites from ten to one.

*SPOILER ALERT* 

10. John Malkovich and MC Hammer. John is inside a fashion jail for wearing a jacket that is just uncool and Hammer is obviously doing time for those trousers. Both were ridiculous and unexpected and I enjoyed them a lot.

9. Anna Wintour. I always think of her as this strict, mean person and just assume she has no sense of humour – but this cameo clearly proves she does. Same can be said for all the fashion designers in the final scene – Tommy Hilfiger, Alexander Wang, Valentino and Marc Jacobs.

8. Naomi Campbell. She stars alongside Derek (Ben Stiller) in the most hilarious commercial for a drink. Derek is man-cow and she milks him and gets it all over her face. I couldn’t believe Naomi Campbell would agree to this!

7. Willie Nelson. He is a member of Hansel’s (Owen Wilson‘s) new orgy but he is only revealed later on when he comes out the toilet and makes a hint that he did something sexual with a hippo. That made me laugh out loud a lot.

6. Ariana Grande, who is wearing a black leather bondage-style mask as she snuggles up to Hansel, and later places a ball gag in her mouth. Saucy! She is joined by…

5. Susan Sarandon. The actress’ big old cleavage is proudly on display once more as she writhes around as another part of Hansel’s new orgy.

4. Justin Bieber. This one has been promoted a lot already but I never saw any footage of him running along the streets of Rome (probably not actually him) and him being riddled with bullets from a semi-automatic. The face he pulls as he gets shot is incredible. I give props him for having the sense of humour and ability to take the piss out of himself.

3. Sting. He had a much larger role than I was expecting and actually helped move the plot along, rather than having  a simple throwaway appearance. He is some religious figure who explains about the Fountain of Youth and then turns out to be Hansel’s father. Can I get a WHAAAAAT?!

2. Benedict Cumberbatch. The writers received a bit of heat for this one as the Sherlock star plays a transgender model named All. He has no eyebrows, is topless and looks a bit alien-like. Wouldn’t you agree? His appearance is given away in the trailer – but his best bit is actually during a runway show when he is wearing angel wings, flying above the catwalk and whipping Derek and Hansel. Crazy, but amazing.

1.  Kiefer Sutherland. He plays a member of Hansel’s orgy living in a remote desert home. He is pregnant but then he loses his child later on. There is all done with total seriousness and emotion. You cannot watch without thinking of Jack Bauer. I didn’t hear about this one pre-release so it took me totally by surprise.

 

There are a few I deliberately missed off – Katy Perry‘s wasn’t funny and I didn’t get it. Plus she clearly wasn’t filming with the guys. I almost put in models Karlie Kloss and Jourdan Dunn but they got bumped down the list and ended up outside the top 10. Fred Armisen appears with his face CG-ed onto the body of a young boy and it’s just totally creepy and unnecessary. Billy Zane served a plot function but it was just odd, so he was bumped off the shortlist too, and Demi Lovato, Usher, Bruce Springsteen and Miley Cyrus only appear as pictures, so even though they’re funny, they did not qualify. Joe Jonas, Olivia Munn and Lewis Hamilton are just guests on the front row so did nothing interesting, I didn’t know who Neil deGrasse Tyson was, and completely missed Mika.

So there you go! What are your favourites?

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